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It is usually not hard to figure out why a man cheated, and sometimes there does not even have to be a reason, besides the fact that he is a man, and an opportunity had presented itself or presented her slutty ass, I should say. Now to be fair, not all men would cheat on their partners, whether they were particularly happy or not. I like to call these group of men “Jaguars” because they are on the endangered species list and almost extinct. If you have this type of man, keep him satisfied, he deserves it!
Now since we really don’t need to go any further into why men cheat, I want to talk about women with all their “sugar & spice”. We, as a gender are generally viewed as the sweet and innocent partner of the duo, the one who would be less likely to stray. Just to get this argument out of the way, we all know based on statistics etc. that over the years there has been a huge increase in the amount of women who cheat, but usually you can pick these hoe bags out of a crowd, and maybe should not make one of those types your girlfriend or wife.
What I am talking about today is that loving, shy, predictable woman who absolutely adores you…
So why do these women stray when they are #1. not a scandalous mark ass trick as noted above and #2. in love with and adores you?!
The answer is….. Lack of the two A’s, Attention & Affection!
Affection is to women, what Sex is to men. It is absolutely necessary for a happy and functioning relationship! Now I know most of you are thinking that this is only relevant with needy and insecure women, and I would say you are correct, to a point.. There are some women out there that need constant reassurance that you still like them every 5 minutes… (The kind of women who can suck the fun right out of a room). But for the most part, even the more secure and non-crazy girl will contemplate finding some honey on the side if her King B is not producing enough nectar to keep her feeling loved and supported. It is unfortunate and usually takes a lot of negligence on a man’s part to get an overall “good woman” to this level, where infidelity is her only escape and means to gain affection and attention, but it does happen, and it happens more often than most probably think.
Let’s be real, all women crave attention from our partners… It’s natural to want to feel wanted, and most happy, normal, secure women get that craving satisfied in a healthy and loving manner. Some men may not be as openly affectionate as others, and some show it in is less obvious, but more sensual ways than the outright all over you types. I find these men to be the most desirable. They can touch your back for a second in just the right spot, or lightly tap your booty in public in a sneaky way, or even just give you a look and you feel the intensity he feels for you in that little show of affection. That to me, is much better than a guy who holds my hand all the time everywhere we go or feels the need to constantly touch or kiss me all day long.
But unfortunately, some women want the “show of” attention opposed to real sincere affection.
Now, before we get more deeper into what causes these women to cheat, lets break it down into the four (very vague) groups of women walking the earth. Minus the hoe bags, they have already been used, labeled, and tossed aside, as per usual.
1. Insecure Irene
This is your typical, “why didn’t you call me at 5:30 like you said you were going to call me at 5:30?” (Mind you, it is 5:45 and she is practically in tears). Irene is more likely to endure years of your 15 minute late phone call abuse (how could you?) and spend the majority of that time digging through all your personal items & electronics looking for any sign of your treacherous cheating before she would even consider wasting any valuable stalker time on stepping out with another man.
These type of insecure, non-trusting, constantly needs you to hold her hand, and be all up on her women, are much too focused on you, to turn to cheating. In fact if you are dating a girl like this, I bet you could only hope for the bitch to cheat, at least you would have a minute or two of breathing room to yourself. She will more than likely stick to you like glue until you get sick of her and literally peel her from your leg, file a restraining order, and call the police after the third time you find her hiding in the bushes, then she will probably go away after a few stalker calls, text, and emails.
Or (fingers crossed)
She will hopefully, for your sake, get sick of you getting sick of her and find a new victim to replace her necessity to feel loved every second of the day, while terrorizing every aspect of his life and simultaneously looking for any and all relationship faults to bitch, whine, and argue about.
This roller-coaster of crazy will just continue from one man to the next and the likely hood of her cheating, is low…
2. Lack Luster Lucy
These types of chicks are not quite as disturbed when it comes to relationships as Irenes, but are still tipping the psycho scales a tad. Lucy’s issues stem less from being a master manipulating, insecure, stalker; as that she is more obsessed with the fact that she rocks and you barely deserve her, so you better make her feel special and adorned upon 24-7.
Lucy is the boring in bed, boring in life, boring in conversation, just boring babe that is usually hot and thinks because she is hot, she does not need to have anything else going for her; such as a kick-ass sense of humor, winning personality, or bedroom skills that make him go bonkers.
The likely hood of this chick cheating is about 50/50. Because she has a sense of undeserved entitlement about herself, she is likely to be drawn to someone who comes along and shows the slightest more attention than you do, or who makes her feel in-sincerely special (because dumb bitches eat that fake shit up) then she will probs let him hit a few times behind your back or at least dump you for him, claiming this guy makes her feel like a princess and you just have no clue what you had in her. (besides a fucking headache.)
3. Melancholy Marsha
Marsha is a whole lot less crazy than your average Lucy or Irene. In fact she is somewhat normal (as far as relationships are concerned). This lady will for the most part not demand constant attention from you, or treat you like garbage, while trying to keep you on a short leash. In fact, she is more the suffer in silence type of chick (think Bella Swan-esk) almost like a martyr.
She will be hurt and feel sad about the little insignificant things that men sometimes do un-intentionally, but she will not bother to mention it to her man, and will just sulk in silence hoping he would notice and ask her “what’s wrong” only for her to reply, “nothing” while looking down and acting as if her puppy just got shot… (can someone say ANNOYING).
A huge percentage of non-hoe bags, Irenes’, or Lucys’ are unfortunately in this category, some more extreme than others, and some grow from a Marsha into a coveted Sally (our final group) over time, experience, and maturity.
The likely hood of her being down with “OPP” is pretty low but again it depends on the level of normality this chick is at. Usually a Marsha’s mind is less filled with thoughts of “gotta find evidence” or “I am soooo awesome and everyone better think so too”, that there is some room left for reason, morals, and a sense of her own identity other than just being fill in the blanks _____ girlfriend, or Boring Beauty Queen. She is more the type to become involved in an emotional relationship with another guy, rather than a sexual cheat. She is the kind who will cling to a dude or two in her life, or from her past, that she knows adores her. This way she can get the attention and validation she is craving, but still have reason to mope around sad about the fact that it is not coming from you.
But because they are somewhat on planet earth and not totally delusional, this will not be enough for her and eventually, after moping around for a while, she will bring up her feelings and then you will have to decide, if you want to stick around and be more loving, or conclude that her woe is me act has gotten old and ridiculous enough for you to walk away.
4. Secure Sally
Sally is that girl who has a life too, so she is not constantly wondering if you are constantly thinking about her, or who you are with, and what you are “up to”. In fact if Sally thinks you are cheating, then you probably are. Secure, non-psychopath women have a sixth sense about her man when it comes to cheating, and can usually feel when something is off. You guys are not quite the brilliant master minds you think you are most of the time, and you always give off subtle clues that the Sally’s of the world, who have their heads in the right place, and minds clear, can pick up on and see.
So if a Sally is feeling like she is not getting enough affection, than you are probably not that into her and she knows it, or you are giving it to some other chick. These women know the very distinct difference between the Loyal Lover who is just less open about his affection as opposed to the Cheating Charlie who is being spread too thin to show his girl enough love.
The chances of her cheating out of lack of affection from you is slim to none, this type of chick does not need to cheat to feel validated and secure with herself, and you are not the core center of her happiness, so if things do not feel right, she will just walk away and wish you the best. Now, this is not to say she won’t pull off a successful and strategically planned revenge cheat, if in fact you did her dirty. Sally ‘s are smart and can be a bit theatrical at times, so if she believes in “eye for an eye” (not saying they all do) then you better keep your pickle in your pants. Because she might get you back and leave you with the thought of having another man making her scream his name….
So why do the ones who decide to cheat, cheat instead of just leaving?
Answer: Because they love you and are not strong enough to speak up or if they have and nothing changes, they are not strong enough to leave you. A non slut face women will never cheat based off of the same reasons a man would. It is more emotional for us because sex is something most of us relate to bonding, friendship, relationship, and love
So is it your fault if your women steps out on you from lack of affection?
Answer: Yes, what do you expect her to do, just as the argument goes (which I will always say the women are to blame for too) if she is not giving it up, on a regular basis, and keeping it fun, you are going to stray right? Or at least start to consider it. The difference is just because I say “yes, you do carry some blame” does not mean, in any way, do I think it is ever right or justified for anyone to cheat out of something lacking in the relationship, whether it be sex or affection.
Even if it is provoked, deserved, or you have been “pushed into the arms of another” as so many cheaters love to use as an excuse. Cheating is the ultimate betrayal and sometimes the last resort before a breakup or divorce, and some men and women actually think it might save their marriage if they can get the attention elsewhere, then come home and be happy with whatever is left there. This type of situation is for the weak, tired, settlers of the world.
If you are not happy and need more from your partner, speak up or move on! As a society women are already labeled as weaker, sensitive, needy, bad drivers compared to our counterparts… You don’t need the scarlet letter (which so appropriately happens to be an A) affixed to your reputation as well. Be a Sally, someone who is stimulating in bed, in life, in conversation, and his a total babe with a kick-ass sense of humor, winning personality, and bedroom skills that make him go bonkers! Keep your man and yourself happy and leave the crazy stalking and cheating to the rest of the nut jobs in the world.
What It all boils down to is some women are super needy and require way too much of your undivided attention in order to feel safe in the relationship. This type of women will never be happy, the more you give the more she will want. But on the flip side, if you are one of those men who gets too wrapped up in everything in his life other than his girl, do not be surprised if she strays. Never be too cold, busy, or clueless to see your woman slipping away.
Never chase love and affection, if it is not given freely by another person, then it isn’t worth having!
Did you know the TNW Conference has a track fully dedicated to exploring the latest work culture trends and the future of work this year? Check out the full program here.
The most exciting breakthroughs of the twenty-first century will not occur because of technology, but because of an expanding concept of what it means to be human. — John Naisbitt
Before we dive into why more women should lead AI teams, I want to share a fascinating story I heard from Tania Biland, a 3rd-year student of Lucerne University of Applied Sciences and Arts.
The story as narrated by Tania:
Last semester, our class got split into three different groups in order to develop a safety technology solution for Swiss or German brands:
Group 1:Only women (my group)
Group 2:Only men
Group 3:Four women and one man
After 4 weeks of work, each team had to present their work.
Group 1, composed of only women, developed a safety solution for women in the dark. As the jury was only male we decided to tell a story using a persona, music, and videos in order to make them feel what women are experiencing on a daily basis. We also put emphasis on the fact that everyone has a mother, sister, or wife in their life and that they probably don’t want her/them to suffer. In the end, our solution was rather simple, technologically: using light to provide safety but connected to the audience emotionally.
Group 2, mostly composed of men, presented a more high-tech solution using AI, GPS, and video conferences. They based their arguments on facts and numbers and pointed out their competitive advantages.
In Group 3,with 4 women and 1 man, the outcome didn’t seem finished. The only man in the group could not agree to be led by women and they, therefore, spend too much time discussing group dynamics instead of working.
The groups not only had different outputs but also approached the problem differently. My group (group 1) decided to start by defining each other’s work preferences and styles in order to distribute some responsibilities and keeping a hierarchy as flat as possible.
On the other hand, the two other groups elected a leader for the team. It turned out that these “leaders” were more perceived as dictators, which lead to heavy conflicts where the teams spent hours discussing and arguing while our group was just working and productive.
What science tells us about gender differences
The science landscape with regards to gender differences and effects on behavior is still evolving and has not come up with a clear set of scientific explanations for different behaviors yet. By compiling most of the research, there are two main factors that influence behaviors:
Potential physiological differences between men and women
Social norms and pressures forming different behaviors
In the above story, as told by Tania, women developed the solution in a Collaborative Leadership Style (adhocracy culture),adapting the leading position based on the tasks with an almost flat hierarchy. They derived their argumentation by involving all stakeholders (in this case the mothers and wives = users), showing empathy for their problems. They saw the bigger picture and also built a simpler solution that was actually finished.
Through the story, I was able to connect the dots on why most AI projects never end up moving out from the prototype phase to a real-world application.
Why AI products are not adopted?
Based on my experience, there are three main reasons why most AI and Machine Learning (ML) solutions do not move from the prototyping phase to the real-world:
Lack of trust:One of the biggest difficulty for AI or ML products is lack of trust. Millions of dollars have been spent on prototyping but with very little success in the real-world launches. Essentially, one of the most fundamental values of doing business and providing value to customers is trust, and Artificial Intelligence is the most-heavily debated technology when it comes to ethical concerns and related trust issues. Trust comes from involving different options and parties in the entire development phase, which is not done in the prototype phase.
The complexity of a launch:Building a prototype is easy, but there are tens of other external entities that need to be considered when moving into the real world. Besides technical challenges, there are other areas of focus that need to be integrated with the prototyping (such as marketing, design, and sales).
AI products often do not take into account all stakeholders:I heard the story that Alexa and Google Home are being used by men to lock out their spouses in instances of domestic violence. They are turning up the music really loud, or they are locking them out of their homes. It is possible that in an environment with mostly male engineers building these products, no one is thinking about these kinds of scenarios. Additionally, there are many instances about how artificial intelligence and data sensors can be biased, sexist and racist .
Interestingly, none of the three points relate to the technical challenges, and all of them can be overcome by creating the right team.
How to make AI more successfully adopted?
In order to solve the above challenges and build more successful AI products, we need to focus on a more collaborative and community-driven approach.
This takes into account opinions from different stakeholders, especially those who are under-represented. Below are steps to achieve that:
Step 1. Involve different groups esp. women from the middle of the talent pyramid
In technology, most companies focus on hiring people at the top of the talent pyramid, where for primarily historical reasons, are fewer women. For example, most Computer Science classes have less than 10 percent of women. However, many talented women are hidden in the middle of the pyramid, educating themselves through online courses but lack opportunities and encouragement.
To give an example, I was talking with the president of Geek Girls Carrot, which is an organization promoting women in tech. They are organizing an AI workshop where over 125 women applied but they had only 25 seats, so naturally, they have to leave behind more than 100 talented women.
Imagine, if we can involve most of the other 100 women instead of only at the top. This would give a lot more women the opportunity to work in new technologies like AI.
Step 2. Build a communal and collaborative bottom-up team with different stakeholders
Next, we need more collaboration between men and women as well as different stakeholders to launch products successfully in the real market. This can be achieved through forming inclusive project communities that build AI products based on common values, beliefs, and often a bigger vision.
Proving the point, in the past six months, we brought together a group of more than 50 male and female students to build an ML model. Within a short time, members started collaborating and helping each other to build the models. Four subgroups got formed, and one of them was driven by two women and supported by two men (data taggers). The other groups were all men. In 4 months, the group with the two women and two male built the most accurate model. From the beginning, the women were much more willing to collaborate than men. However, more interestingly, I saw that men in the group also ended up behaving more collaboratively because of the other women in the group. This was fascinating!!
Step 3. Create the right Organizational Structure for collaboration
What if we could create organizational structures and practices that don’t need empowerment because, by design, everybody is powerful and no one powerless? I have seen that this can be achieved by connecting intrinsic and extrinsic motivations (which is not related to money) and creating an incentive structure that is not competitive.
In my case, I built the community where the mentor was at the top of the pyramid, followed by the community manager, then engineers working on building models and finally data taggers. Members from each team were striving to move up the ladder to reach the next level, which created an extrinsic motivation. However, the monetary compensation for people on the same level was the same. This fostered collaboration.
Why women should lead AI teams
In the story from the beginning, the female group followed a more Collaborative Leadership Style by showing more customer empathy and willingness to collaborate.
Considering the limited experiment in the solar project, we saw that the approach to use the community to build products helped as well to foster collaboration and build trust among community members.
While none of the mentioned qualities can be generalized, the following graphic aims to summarize some of the reasons why many women are a great fit for Collaborative Leadership.
In conclusion, I am arguing that we should think more holistically and do our best to create the right environment where we look beyond gender, race, and cultural background and focus on how we can collaborate as humans to build a better future.
This article was originally published on Towards Data Science by Rudradeb Mitra. He started his career as an AI researcher and published 10 research papers. After graduating from University of Cambridge, he was part of building various startups in US, UK, Belgium, and Poland. His current focus is driving innovation bottom-up and solving various social problems around the world using AI through global collaboration of changemakers from over 75 countries. He also wrote a book on AI and have been invited to speak at over 100 events. Besides that he has no phone, meditates a couple of hours a day, and lives life with no goals in life and in a state of Wu wei.’
A British man has been jailed for two years after police caught him using a notorious Remote Access Trojan (RAT) to hijack the webcams of young women, and spy upon them.
27-year-old Scott Cowley, of St Helens, Merseyside, was arrested last November as part of an international investigation into purchasers of the Imminent Monitor RAT.
Imminent Monitor (also known as IM-RAT) had been sold online since 2012, purporting to be a legitimate remote access tool.
Imminent Monitor’s claims of legitimacy, however, are somewhat undermined by some of its abilities – such as the ability to allow remote users to disable a subject’s webcam light while they are being monitored. One version of the software even introduced the ability to mine for cryptocurrency on victim’s PCs.
Security researchers at Palo Alto Networks claim that they have observed Imminent Monitor being used in attacks against its customers on over 115,000 unique occasions.
International law enforcement agencies were finally able to dismantle the infrastructure behind Imminent Monitor last November, in an operation that executed 85 warrants, seized 434 devices, and arrested 13 people.
And, of course, when police cracked the IM-RAT’s distribution network they were also able to seize records detailing thousands of purchasers, which resulted in the arrest in Merseyside of Scott Cowley.
At Liverpool Crown Court prosecutors described how the Cowley had used a PayPal account connected to his own name and personal email address to buy the IM-RAT software. Cowley successfully managed to have the software installed on the computers of three women, and seized remote control of their webcams in order to allow him to secretly film them as they undressed and had sex.
Specialist police officers from the North West Regional Organised Crime Unit (NWROCU) were able to forensically examine Cowley’s own laptop computer, finding the software as well as furtive video recordings of his victims.
The court found Cowley guilty, and sentenced him to two years imprisonment for computer misuse and sexual offences.
“Today we welcome the sentencing of Scott Cowley who used highly technological methods to obtain private videos and images of innocent victims for his own sexual gratification. This conviction demonstrates that despite the high tech nature of the Cyber Crime, offenders have no place to hide,” said Detective Sergeant Steve Frame from the NWROCU. “We take all reports of cybercrime seriously and are absolutely committed to tackling and undermining this evolving threat. If you have been the victim of a similar crime, or suspect somebody is involved in committing this type of crime please call 101 and report it to your local police force.”
No doubt police investigations into the users of IM-RAT will continue, and we can hope for more successful prosecutions for those who preyed on innocent computer users.
Editor’s Note:The opinions expressed in this guest author article are solely those of the contributor, and do not necessarily reflect those of Tripwire, Inc.
SINGAPORE – The Republic needs more women to take up positions in cyber security, a sector that is facing a shortfall of talent.
On Thursday (Oct 3), Senior Minister of State for Communications and Information Sim Ann said more women can be encouraged to join the cyber-security industry and thrive in it.
“Given the high demand for cyber security talent, it would be a pity to draw from only half the population,” she said, noting that estimates of the proportion of women in cyber security globally range from as low as 10 per cent to about 25 per cent.
“Effective strategies to tackle cyber security… must integrate the perspectives of all people – both men and women – so that the technologies deployed and the process implemented are practical and inclusive.”
In her opening address to audience members at the Women in Cyber event during the Singapore International Cyber Week (SICW), Ms Sim outlined three ways to get more women to join the cyber-security industry and thrive in it.
First, by engaging young people to raise awareness of the opportunities in cyber security. She said this is important as people often make career choices early in life.
One such initiative is the Singapore Cyber Youth Programme, which reaches out to secondary school-level students for boot camps and career mentoring sessions.
The other two ways are for women to constantly update and deepen their skills to take advantage of emerging trends in a fast-paced sector, and to have a strong community network, she added.
“Women support networks shed light on women role models who can inspire young aspiring professionals. They also serve as a comfortable launch pad for women to plug into broader industry and community networks,” Ms Sim said.
Ms Sim’s call for more women to join the industry follows a warning by the Cyber Security Agency of Singapore (CSA) in July that the industry potentially faces a shortage of up to 3,400 professionals by 2020.
Ms Alina Tan, 26, was among the many female cyber-security professionals in the audience for the Women in Cyber event.
Combining her twin interests in cyber security and car modifications led Ms Tan to specialise in automotive cyber security.
She started working in the Land Transport Authority’s Cyber Division last month, after spending about two years in cyber-security consulting.
“What I enjoy most about working in cyber security is that I’m always learning something new,” said Ms Tan, who in her free time organises weekly meet-ups for like-minded individuals in the local community to conduct their own research in car cyber security.
“I get a sense of satisfaction from discovering vulnerabilities in a system and then finding ways to secure it. You never know what you’re going to find in there and that’s very interesting for me.”
Held at Suntec City and Convention Centre from Oct 1 to Oct 3, SICW 2019 is the fourth edition of the annual event organised by CSA.